When you have prostate cancer, dating can feel more like a minefield than a walk in the park. What’s the right time to tell a potential partner about your condition? And how should you bring it up?
It’s normal to feel anxious and fear rejection while also balancing your desire for privacy and feelings of obligation to talk about your symptoms from treatment, which may include sexual dysfunction and low libido. But it’s also possible to navigate the challenges of a prostate cancer diagnosis and experience connection and intimacy.
When Is It the ‘Right’ Time?
You have full control over how and when you share details of your prostate cancer diagnosis with a dating partner. If you’re not sure how you want to handle it, you can start by looking at a few factors.
Emotional Readiness
Regardless of how your potential partner may feel about dating someone with cancer, it’s important to understand if you are ready for dating.
A prostate cancer diagnosis can spark a wide range of emotions, including anger, grief, and fear, says Brandi Jurecek, LCSW, a social worker at Texas Oncology in Plano, Texas.
“It can cause a shift in identity that requires time to understand, adapt to, and accept,” she says.
Ask yourself if you still feel emotionally overwhelmed by your diagnosis or if you feel you have the emotional space to connect with someone new, Jurecek says.
Now vs. Later: Pros and Cons
Sharing a prostate cancer diagnosis and its various treatment side effects on a first date may feel too early. But it can also “weed out” bad matches quickly.
You can also wait until you establish some trust before you share. Just be sure to discuss any sexual side effects of prostate cancer well before a sexual encounter, says Justin Dubin, MD, a urologist and the director of men’s sexual health at Baptist Health Miami Cancer Institute in Florida. Avoiding or burying the issue may lead to hurt and resentment.
If You Don’t Feel Ready to Talk About It
If you can’t imagine telling a date about your diagnosis but don’t know how to move forward, you have options. Dr. Dubin strongly recommends joining a support group for men experiencing similar symptoms and challenges. It helps to hear others’ stories and be part of a community, he says, and it can raise your comfort level if you don’t otherwise know how to do it.
Dubin also recommends sex therapy, which focuses on sexual health. It can help you get the most out of intimate moments and communicate your sexual limitations and desires to a partner.
It may also help to make sure you understand your condition, too. Especially if your diagnosis is new, consider asking your oncologist and healthcare team about potential sexual problems that your treatment might cause, when those problems might occur, and any support groups they might recommend.
How to Start the Conversation
Getty Images
Even if you feel ready to tell a potential partner about your diagnosis, you may not know where to start.
“Language is important when sharing personal information,” says Jurecek, who suggests framing your cancer diagnosis as an event you have successfully navigated instead of an uncomfortable confession.
“Cancer is something that you have experienced, not something that defines you,” she says.
Conversation starters, she says, may include:
“I have enjoyed getting to know you and would like to share something about myself.”
"I want to be open with you about something I've been navigating."
"I've had some health challenges recently that I'd like to share."
“Instead of sharing your diagnosis as something embarrassing, use confident language that focuses on honesty and resilience,” Jurecek says.
As an example, she suggests saying: “I had prostate cancer, went through treatment, and now I am doing well. I think honesty is important as we get to know each other.”
If you are nervous, try practicing what you want to say in advance to ensure you are comfortable delivering it.
Addressing the ‘Elephants in the Room’: Side Effects and Intimacy
Conversations about sexual function can feel awkward, especially with someone you don’t know well yet. Prostate cancer and its treatment can cause erectile dysfunction and incontinence, which can be difficult to talk about. But if you use empowering language, you can explain your sexual journey with confidence.
For example, you can describe your current symptoms and also discuss treatment options you’re considering and the possibility of symptoms fading after a while. It can take months or years, but many men notice a return in erectile function, says Hugh J. Lavery, MD, the chief of the division of urology at Stamford Health in Connecticut.
Sexual-dysfunction treatment options may include oral medications such as sildenafil (Viagra), medications injected into the penis, and pumps and prosthetic devices, Dr. Lavery says. If you leak urine during sex, you can have a cuff surgically placed around your urethra, which you pump up to block urine when needed, he says.
Remember that intimacy itself takes many forms, and you don’t have to have penetrative sex to share intimate moments with a partner. Oral sex, touching, mutual masturbation, heavy kissing, and sex toys could be possibilities, Dubin says. Ask your doctor if there are additional limitations for you based on your condition and treatment.
“Healthy intimacy during treatment focuses on a couple’s ability to be open, talk through feelings and fears, and find new ways to connect if the sexual side of the relationship looks different,” Jurecek says.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your partner because it will take time to figure out your new sexual normal, she says.
Navigating the Reaction
With or without prostate cancer, the fear of rejection after a date might hover like a gray cloud on the horizon. But after you share your prostate cancer journey, your potential partners may respond with compassion, acceptance, and no loss of interest.
If they don’t, it’s normal to feel hurt and ashamed, Jurecek says.
“It is important to recognize that the reaction is not reflective of your worth but that person’s inability to handle the situation,” she says.
After a poor reaction, reach out to your sex therapist, support group, or loved one, Dubin says. If you don’t have a community to lean on yet, your healthcare team can help you find resources.
Although dating can be tough, you deserve the relationship you want. Keep trying and remember that open communication is the key to strong relationships.
“The right person will respond with compassion and kindness and will not be afraid to engage in a meaningful relationship,” Jurecek says.
The Takeaway
Navigating dating with a prostate cancer diagnosis can be challenging. But open communication and honest conversations can foster meaningful connections and intimate relationships.
The “right time” to tell a partner about your diagnosis is up to you. It depends on your own emotional readiness, and it may be more of a process than a one-time conversation.
Remember to use empowering language when you tell your date about your diagnosis. Instead of apologizing for your condition or limitations, frame your journey as overcoming a challenge.
Your healthcare team, as well as support groups and therapists, can help you understand your condition and build your comfort with intimacy and sharing potential side effects of your treatment.
This week's Condition of the Week (COW) is Sciatica & Nerve Pain — one of the most common and misunderstood sources of pain that people quietly live with, often for months or even years before seeking help.
What is Sciatica?
Sciatica isn't a diagnosis on its own. It's a symptom. It refers to pain that travels along the path of the sciatic nerve, which runs from your lower back, through your hips and buttocks, and down each leg. When that nerve becomes compressed or irritated, it can create sensations ranging from a dull ache to a sharp, electric-like shooting pain, sometimes accompanied by tingling, numbness, or weakness in the leg or foot.
Many people are surprised to learn that what feels like a leg problem is actually starting in the spine.
Common causes may include:
Herniated or bulging spinal discs (responsible for roughly 90% of cases)
Spinal stenosis (narrowing of the spinal canal)
Piriformis syndrome (a tight muscle in the buttock pressing on the nerve)
Bone spurs or degenerative disc changes
Prolonged sitting, sedentary lifestyle, or repetitive strain
Obesity or excess body weight adding pressure to the spine
Did You Know?
Up to 40% of Americans will experience sciatica at some point in their lives, making it one of the most widespread nerve-related conditions in the country. Research shows that about 80 to 90% of sciatica cases improve without surgery, especially when the underlying cause is identified and addressed early. Yet without proper care, roughly 25% of sufferers go on to deal with long-term or recurring symptoms. The good news? Most people don't have to stay in that category.
Tips for Managing Sciatica
Keep moving: Prolonged sitting is one of the biggest aggravators. Short, frequent walks throughout the day can reduce nerve pressure Mind your posture: How you sit, stand, and sleep all affect spinal alignment and nerve tension Stretch regularly: Gentle piriformis and hamstring stretches can help relieve nerve compression from tight muscles Apply heat or ice: Ice for acute flare-ups, heat for chronic tightness. Alternating can work well for some people Avoid the "push through it" approach: Unlike muscle soreness, nerve pain that's ignored tends to worsen over time
How we approach this at HealthSource
At HealthSource, we focus on natural, non-invasive, corrective care designed to address the why behind the symptoms, not just the pain itself. Since sciatica almost always has a mechanical or structural root cause, proper evaluation of the spine is the essential first step.
Chiropractic care works to restore proper spinal alignment and reduce the pressure on irritated nerve roots. For cases involving disc compression, spinal decompression gently creates space between vertebrae, improving disc hydration and relieving the nerve tension that drives sciatic pain. Class IV laser therapy can then support the body's own healing response at the cellular level, reducing inflammation around the nerve and promoting tissue repair deep in areas that are difficult to reach any other way.
Together, these approaches address both the structure and the biology of nerve pain, which is why so many patients find relief through this kind of comprehensive, non-surgical care.
Who do you know dealing with sciatica or nerve pain?
If someone came to mind while reading this, a friend who "throws their back out" regularly, a co-worker always shifting in their chair, or a family member who complains about that nagging leg pain, feel free to pass this along. Sometimes the right information at the right time changes everything. Sometimes prevention starts before symptoms appear.
Sometimes prevention starts before symptoms appear. Your referral could change a life!
Warmly, The HealthSource of Harper's Preserve Team
Switching things up could be the ticket to better blood sugar
Eating vegetables and protein before carbohydrates can reduce post-meal blood sugar spikes.
It works by slowing digestion and stimulating the release of blood sugar–regulating hormones.
This may benefit everyone, but is especially helpful for people with diabetes or prediabetes.
You sit down to dinner and face a plate with grilled chicken, roasted broccoli and a side of rice. Most of us dig in without thinking twice about which food we reach for first. But maybe we should. “Studies show that the order in which foods are eaten during a meal can influence post-meal blood sugar levels,” says Grace Phelan, M.S. “Research suggests that eating non-starchy vegetables first, followed by protein and fat, and saving carbohydrates for last can help reduce post-meal blood sugar spikes compared with eating carbohydrates first.”
The concept is known as “food sequencing,” and the science to back it up is compelling. For instance, one recent study found that people with type 2 diabetes experienced a 44% reduction in post-meal blood sugar spikes when they ate the carbohydrates in their meals last compared to when they ate the same meals with carbs first.
While switching up the order of your foods is no substitute for a balanced eating plan or blood sugar–lowering medication, it is a simple, research-backed tool that can help keep your blood sugar steadier throughout the day.
Credit: Getty Images. EatingWell Design
The Best Order to Eat Your Food for Better Blood Sugar
After you’ve finished your vegetables, move on to the protein and fat components of your meal. Think chicken, fish, tofu, eggs or cheese. Protein and fat slow stomach emptying, which means glucose from the carbohydrate you’ll eat later may enter your bloodstream more gradually rather than all at once. This, in turn, can blunt blood sugar spikes, says Avery Zenker, RD.
These foods also stimulate GLP-1, a gut hormone that improves insulin secretion and further slows digestion. GLP-1 is the same hormone that medications like Ozempic and Wegovy are designed to mimic. So, it helps suppress appetite, too.
Finish with Carbs
Saving carbohydrate-rich foods—such as bread, rice, pasta, potatoes and fruit—for the end of a meal allows the fibre, protein and fat you’ve already eaten to act as a buffer. “Instead of getting a quick rush of carbs that quickly pass through the stomach and into the small intestine, the sugar takes its time to travel through the stomach before it’s absorbed,” says Zenker.
One study found that when people with prediabetes ate protein and veggies before carbs, or veggies alone before carbs, they experienced post-meal reductions in blood glucose spikes by as much as 40%. Research shows that front-loading with protein and veggies may benefit healthy individuals, too.“This strategy may [potentially] also be helpful for other health conditions related to insulin resistance, such as metabolic syndrome and cardiovascular disease,” says Zenker.
Of course, not every meal can be neatly separated into components—and that’s OK. Mixed dishes like stir-fries and grain bowls still offer benefits when they include a balance of vegetables, protein and fiber-rich carbs. Starting with a side salad or a veggie-based appetizer before a mixed meal is a practical way to put food sequencing into action. As Phelan puts it, “This doesn’t need to be perfect—simply starting meals with fiber- and protein-rich foods can make a real difference.”
Other Blood Sugar–Friendly Tips
Walk After Meals: A brief 10-minute walk right after eating is one of the easiest ways to lower your post-meal blood sugar. When your muscles are working, they absorb glucose without needing as much insulin. Research found that a 10-minute walk immediately after eating effectively lowered blood glucose levels—and the effects were similar to a 30-minute walk, making it a practical daily habit.
Try Calf Raises: If a walk isn’t an option, doing one to two minutes of calf raises (standing up on your tiptoes and lowering back down) has been shown to improve blood sugar regulation after eating. You can do these while standing at the kitchen counter or at your desk.
Eat Dinner Earlier: Your body needs time to process glucose, especially overnight. And research has linked a longer overnight fast to better blood sugar (as well as improvements in blood pressure and heart rate). To give your body the time it needs to rest and digest, try to eat dinner at least three hours before bedtime.
Balance Your Plate: The American Diabetes Association recommends dedicating one-half of your plate to non-starchy veggies and each of the other quarters to lean protein and fibre-rich complex carbs. Think of it as an easy formula for better blood sugar!
Our Expert Take
The order in which you eat your food is a simple yet effective strategy for better blood sugar management. Research shows that eating non-starchy vegetables first, followed by protein and fat, and finishing with carbohydrates can significantly reduce post-meal blood sugar spikes. This approach, called food sequencing, works by slowing digestion and stimulating the release of gut hormones that help your body process glucose more efficiently. While food sequencing is especially beneficial for people with diabetes or prediabetes, it can support metabolic health for anyone. For even better results, pair it with other blood sugar–lowering habits, like walking after meals, staying active throughout the day, eating dinner earlier and building a balanced plate.
Four out of five of us will suffer from back pain in our lifetime. Learn the moves that’ll keep your spine strong
Back pain is the great leveller. It can floor anyone and everyone, from elite cyclists to desk workers. It’s so common, in fact, that the most recent figures (2024) compiled by the UK's Office for National Statistics (ONS) revealed 2.9m people had problems linked to their back or neck, up from 2.6m in 2019.
Not surprisingly for anyone who’s ever suffered back pain, it’s not one single problem but an umbrella term for a whole family of conditions, each with its own triggers, symptoms and fixes.
That could be a sharp twinge between the shoulder blades or a dull, radiating ache that travels down your leg.
Understanding the source is not only key to recovery but to preventing it happening in the first place. Here, we reveal five of the most common culprits, what causes them and what you can do to ease the pain and keep your back moving freely.
Thoracic facet joint pain
The cycling position can leave you vulnerable to pain and tightness in your upper back. Getty Images
What it feels like
This is pain from the spine, nestled between the shoulder blades, and can be anywhere from T1 to T12 of the thoracic spine (the spine is divided into five sections, of which the thoracic spine is one). The thoracic spine has 12 vertebrae – but is particularly common from T3 down to T6.
“The pain can be sharp, especially when you twist, and stems from a tightening of back muscles, including the rhomboids, erector spinae and trapezius,” says Somerset-based osteopath Ben Palmer.
“Because these muscles assist pulling, lifting and keeping our head upright, the pain might present itself as a shoulder issue, but it’s actually an upper-back problem.”
Why it happens and who’s at risk
“Poor posture’s a key one," says Palmer. "If your job is desk-bound or you’re a keen cyclist, you could be susceptible. It’s because your head is like a bowling ball, so if you’re crouched over for periods of time, that weight transfers down the neck through the back, creating stress.”
Over time, you develop a hunch, which can irritate the thoracic facet joints. These have little capsules [a cellophane-type cover to provide stability] around them that produce synovial fluid to nourish and lubricate the joint, but when the joint is inflamed, this fluid can become viscous, restricting movement.
It could also be because the joint’s out of position, so one side is stuck and the other isn’t."
How to fix it
“Seeing an osteopath or chiropractor is the way ahead," Palmer explains. "A masseur can help, too, albeit sometimes you’ll need to dig deeper than the muscles and into the joints.
"Specific exercises help. These include knee to chest, where you lay on your back and gently tighten your abdominal muscles, lifting both knees towards your chest.
"Hold for 30 to 60 seconds and relax. Rolling up a towel, placing it between your shoulder blades, before leaning over for a spot of self-massage, helps too.”
Stop it happening again
“If you’re on a computer all day, you need to reset," says Palmer. "That means sitting up straight and pulling your shoulder blades back.
"Hold for up to 10 seconds, then relax. Do this regularly throughout the day. It fires up the muscles of the back, which really helps.
"How you position your screen matters, too. Your monitor should be at eye level and your spine should have a gentle, natural curve rather than completely upright and straight.”
Sciatica
Sciatic pain can be felt all the way down your legs and can be caused by the pressure of sitting in a saddle for long periods. Getty Images
What it feels like
Sciatica refers to the pain that shoots down the sciatic nerve – the largest nerve in the body – which manifests itself as tingling or numbness of the back or bottom that may radiate down your leg.
“Often, the root cause of the pain is that the nerve’s inflamed. That might be down to muscle tightness irritating the sciatic nerve,” says Palmer.
“A bulging disc at the base of your spine’s also a culprit. Or it could be that your joint is arthritic or suffering stenosis, which is a narrowing of the aperture where the nerve comes out.
"Finally, sciatica can also strike when the nerve is caught on the head of the hamstring or scar tissue.”
Why it happens and who’s at risk
Do you sit all day? Work in an office? Are you a lorry driver? Then you’re potentially vulnerable because one of the causes is sitting for long periods. So, poor posture is bad, as is lifting heavy loads, such as sacks of compost.
How to fix it
“Nerves like being stretched. If you’ve got tightening in the buttocks or the hips, which is irritating that nerve, a good stretch offers great relief. Sitting on a ball in the sore buttock area can help, too.”
That said, like the others, you should seek out an expert first because if the cause of your sciatica is a popped disc, stretching could make it worse.
“The ‘straight leg raise test’ should establish whether the sciatic nerve might be pinching on a disc. If it’s a disc issue and you have private health care, get it scanned.
"You can ask the NHS [in the UK], who may scan it but will probably wait first to see if the symptoms calm down.
"That is unless you’re enduring severe symptoms including a loss of sensation around the genitals, which we call ‘cauda equina’. Thankfully, that’s uncommon.”
Osteopathy, chiropractic and physiotherapy can be effective for certain types of sciatica, particularly if it’s in the muscles.
Stop it happening again
Moving around and exercise really helps, although be mindful that if your disc is the problem, the shock of running can make things worse.
Stretching can also be beneficial. Strengthen your core muscles because they weaken from sitting. “Gym work is good but just note that lifting really heavy weights can cause disc problems, especially deadlifts if you don’t do them properly,” says Palmer.
Sacroiliac joint dysfunction
What it feels like
The sacroiliac joint sits where the pelvis and lower spine meet, with joint pain presenting itself as pain and stiffness in the buttocks or lower back, though the pain can also spread down one or both legs.
“This one’s quite hard to diagnose because its symptoms may mimic a range of other conditions like facet joint arthritis,” says Palmer.
Why it happens and who’s at risk
This pelvic joint acts as a shock absorber for the upper limb, transferring forces between your sacrum and your pelvis, plus down your legs.
“It can naturally loosen during pregnancy to allow the passage of a baby, which is why it’s quite common to have problems when carrying a baby,” Palmer explains.
“It’s easy to sprain or strain, which is often down to lifting or even shovelling. Sitting is another major irritant, especially if you have poor posture.
"I’ve also seen it with golfers, particularly older players who naturally stiffen over time. They should focus on thorough warm-ups.”
How to fix it
“Sacroiliac joint pain responds wells to osteopathy, chiropractic or physiotherapy. There are specific sacroiliac joint exercises,” says Palmer.
Trunk rotation is one example. You lie on the ground with your feet flat on the floor and arms out-stretched in a T-position.
Place your knees together, pointing to the ceiling. Then, with your shoulders pressed against the floor, drop your knees to one side as far you can comfortably. Perform 10 times on each side.
Stop it happening again
Clamshell exercises can help this type of back pain. Getty Images
“Key preventatives include regular stretching in that area, plus keeping core and glute muscles strong,” says Palmer. Focusing on the deep muscles that support the pelvis is of benefit.
This includes single-leg bridges, clamshells and monster walks to prevent pelvic drop and rotation; hip thrusts and deadlifts to stabilise the posterior chain; and plank with knee taps to crank up pelvic stability.
Femoral nerve radiculopathy
This type of back pain typically affects an older demographic, with repetitive lifting one cause. Getty Images
What it feels like
This condition results in pain, numbness, tingling or muscle weakness that radiates from the back down to the groin and thigh.
“It’s caused by an irritated or compressed nerve, and I see it often in the older demographic where it radiates into the upper thigh and glutes muscles,” says Palmer.
The problem occurs at or close to the nerve root as it branches off from the spinal cord.
Why it happens and who’s at risk
Ageing is a significant cause, especially if you have arthritis. It’s due to a narrowing of the joints caused by a build-up of bone, which is down to deteriorating cartilage that helps the joints slides across each other smoothly.
Over time, this wears down and works its way to the bone, which then grows rougher than before. This can irritate.
Being overweight, pregnant or having bad posture are key causes, too. As are long periods of sitting, which can irritate the nerve in your groin beneath what’s called the inguinal ligament that travels down your leg.
“Repetitive lifting is another big cause," says Palmer. "You see that in builders who might be laying bricks and plumbers leaning forwards to sort out your pipes. That repetitive nature continuously focuses pressure into your back, resulting in weakness.”
How to fix it
Like all of these issues, you should seek formal diagnosis from a health expert first. Once cleared for movement, gentle progressive exercises under the guidance of the expert should reduce irritation, restore mobility and build strength.
One good exercise is ‘nerve mobilisation’ or ‘flossing’. You lie on yourside with the affected leg on top. Bend your knee back toward your glutes (as if stretching the quad). As you bend the knee, tuck your chin in to your chest.
Then straighten your knee slightly while lifting your head up (extend neck). Perform 10–15 slow reps once or twice a day.
Stop it happening again
Strengthening your core helps, but see this as strengthening your whole body, not just seeking a six-pack. Exercising three times a week is good.
“I’m a fan of martial arts, especially in the morning. There’s something about training early that awakens your nervous system.
Lumbar facet irritation syndrome
Holding extreme positions on the bike can cause this type of back problem. Getty Images
What it feels like
The facet joints are the links between the bones of the spine, enabling you to bend and twist. Injury to one or more of the facet joints causes a chronic, dull pain that worsens with extension and rotation.
Stiffness of the back is common and is why you often see people struggling with his condition buckled forward as if their backs have gone.
“Spasms are also common,” says Palmer. “In fact, it’s a strange trait that people who have spasms tend to have more of them.
"It’s like the nervous system normalises spasms. The muscles around your hip area tighten up and pull you forwards and to the side, which is why it’s a struggle to straighten up.”
Why it happens and who’s at risk
“Prolonged extension or rotation is one of the main causes, which often happens in sport,” says Palmer. For instance, it could be golf, which has significant turning component.
"Road cycling, where you’re stretched out and might hyperextend, might be an issue, too. “Like many back issues, ageing and poor posture are common causes.”
How to fix it
A chiropractor, osteopath or physio might be able to unlock and open the joint depending on how chronic and severe the symptoms. But you may need referral for an X-ray. Stretching and low-impact exercise such as walking and swimming should help.
Stop it happening again
Similar to the other conditions, regular exercise helps, especially strength work. Pilates, martial arts… they’ll all bolster your back.
“The gym’s great, too, but beware of overly heavy weights. They can cause more harm than good if your form’s not great and the workload’s too much.
"Hence, pilates – a bodyweight exercise – is so beneficial. Pilates taps into your hamstrings, core, upper back, arms and neck muscles. It’s about supporting yourself, which seems to be much better for your back.”
